What Really Matters, According to Me

Sometimes people do what they think are little things not worth mentioning. Sometimes those little things are huge to someone else. This guy... this awesome guy we know, took Daniel Jr. to some sort of professional football scout day at Texas State University. He says it's no big deal. Daniel probably had the best day of his year today with that guy. Many of you who know our family most likely know who I'm talking about. I wouldn't name him, because he's the kind of person who isn't looking for pats on the back. He gives them. He's a good, good man. I'm grateful for his friendship to my son. My son who needs a friend. Thank you. Daniel had a blast! And the picture of him with that beautiful young lady will hang on his wall as a reminder.

So many times over the years there have been forces in the world that would pull apart our family, beginning with the marriage. If the marriage fails, the family falls apart. How desperately important it is, then, to nurture and secure the strength of marriage. Many years ago, the thought occurred to me that I might not want to spend the rest of my life with my husband, Daniel. It was a tough time. We both said and did things we shouldn't have. We were separated for a couple of weeks, even. At that time, we only had Daniel,Jr. I wasn't planning to have any more kids. At 21 years old, I was done. Marriage was too hard. Obviously, we worked it out. Over, and over again, we've worked it out. It's not that marriage has become perfect or even wonderful at all moments of the day and night. It is that marriage has become clear to our view. It has become obvious to me and to my husband that more hinges upon our successful marriage than our own gratification. We have a responsib...

Not everything good about parenting did I learn in church. I should say: everything I've learned about perfect parenting, I've learned (and am learning still) through my study of the Gospel of Christ. That isn't to say I'm a perfect parent. It is to say Christ is perfect. He gave a perfect example. No one else can or has done that. My mother never made me feel unintelligent, unappreciated or unwanted. She never told me I was stupid, good for nothing or a pain in the neck. She did tell me she loved me. She told me I was the best thing she ever did. She worked at a job making the newspaper, that was, in those days, usually only worked by men. She supported her kids without welfare or child support after the divorce. She went to work when she was ill. She went to work when she didn't feel like it. And you better not call her at work unless it was an emergency that couldn't be handled any other way, because there was always somebody who'd take a job like that fr...

President Ezra Taft Benson taught that young couples should not postpone having children and that “in the eternal perspective, children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels.” To the Mothers in Zion (pamphlet, 1987) My husband and I joined the church in 1985, the year we got married. He was 22 and I was 17. We came from a different world than the world in which my kids are growing up in...even a different time. We weren’t raised in the church. We had no Family Home Evenings, family prayer, family anything growing up and no primary or youth organizations to teach us all we needed to know and do to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. It was the LDS missionaries who taught us much of what we were lacking. The fellowship of the members of our little branch and then a new ward, when we moved that helped us as we tried to live the new standards we adopted as our values. We learned a lot about what the Mormon church teaches by reading church publicatio...

On 12 August 1990 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We named her Heather Elizabeth. I hadn't thought I could possibly love a second child as much as I loved Daniel Jr. until Heather was born and I cradled her in may arms. Sadly, four weeks after she was born on a Sunday, my sweet little girl passed away on a Sunday, September 9th. She died of S.I.D.S. (sudden infant death syndrome), also known as crib-death. It was during that time of sorrow I realized no one can comfort me. No person on this earth can ease that pain. The arms of a loving , grieving husband cannot give comfort. The words of a friend or minister are no help. Even knowledge and testimony of life in heaven after earth doesn't erase the mark upon the heart of a mother with milk in her breasts and no child to suckle. No baby to hold and arms aching to embrace the little body now cold and lifeless. There is no balm in Gilead for such suffering in that moment of darkness. Yet, one day passed away, then two, and i...

My little Megan is only 8 years old. I forget too often how young she is. She is the 5 th child in a family of 8 living children (would be 6 of 9 if Heather were still here). When there are older children in the family, it's easy to talk to the younger ones as if they were older, too. Megan has always been so intelligent that, soon after she was speaking well, it was easy to make that mistake with her... to talk to her like a little adult instead of like a child. I was watching some home video with my kids not long ago and realized something that made me very sad: Years ago, I spoke to my little boys (the older ones are boys) in so much more of a sweet and tender tone. I spoke to them as if there were little children. I was patient and didn't expect so much from them... maybe a disservice in some ways, yes, but they seemed to be allowed to be incapable, uneducated, not strong enough, not willing... and it was OK. Meg-pie came along after a few years. She followed after fou...