What is Joy?
Many women spend years of life searching for what they believe is happiness. We feel unfulfilled or unappreciated, and often less-than-swept off of our feet by our husbands after many years of marriage and wonder if life was meant to be more than this?
It is easy to seek and find joy in motherhood. But, what about when the children are grown and gone? So many years of life are centered around raising children while they are growing, as well life should be during those years. However, if it's done right, a marriage is intended to last at least until death do you part, if I recall correctly from all of the weddings I've attended over the years. If husbands and wives are joined in the Everlasting Covenant of Marriage, as is availed to us within the walls of the Temple of the Lord, then marriage, if it's done right, is intended to last into the eternities, for what God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Considering the eternal prospect of marriage, it is wise to not lose sight of that which will be our primary relationship into the golden years of life, and beyond. We often (unwisely), become complacent in marriage. As women, we hold the keys to our own happiness. Even so, some women begin to feel disenchanted in marriage after many years... not that anything in particular is wrong; a woman may simply feel lacking in romantic love; she may feel like she's not living life to her potential or that she's missing out on something more...
It has been my personal experience in life that too many times women fall into the habit of becoming lazy in their service and giving of love to their husbands, and this always leads to unhappiness in the woman and many negative feelings such as those mentioned above. In cases where the husband is abusive, mentally ill, or otherwise unhealthy, all bets are off. But, if you're married to a healthy, generally well balanced human being, you'll find that most men are generally easy to please. It has been said that it is hard to find a good man... but it's not hard to keep one. This is true... and when a woman feels like the romance is over, it's too often the case that she's done that to herself.
Husbands need verbal appreciation, physical communication of love, and they need to be needed by their women. They need to be served by their wives in ways only a wife can serve her husband.
We've all heard that: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I know this is very cliche', but those old sayings aren't old sayings for nothing. I used to laugh at a cartoon my kids used to watch called 'Hey Arnold' in which a lazy character, Mr. Kakoshka (sp?) would say to his wife: Suzie! If you love me... make me a sandwich! It was silly, yes, but there is a thread of real man sentiment in that. Most men feel loved when fed by their wives. It's more like food for their soul... as my son likes to say.
A gift that Father in Heaven has given to women is that gift which brings joys to our hearts when we are engaged in the service of others. This is the root of the nurturing instinct of mothers. It is important to nurture our husbands as well. Not as you would a child, of course, for men need to be respected as the strong, masculine, amazingly wonderful beasts that they are. But, men do need to be nurtured by their wives in appropriate ways. By loving and accepting your husband, emotionally and physically, you serve him in a way he desperately needs, and in a way only you can. If you ever turn your husband away because you have a headache or are too tired to show him the love he needs from you, it is my position that you are rejecting 'one of the least of these, my brethren' as the Lord cautioned us not to do. If your child came crying to you for a hug, you would not turn him away. You would embrace him and kiss away his tears. Your husband will not likely come crying to you for attention. Do I need to go on?
Only a wife can righteously fulfill the innermost needs of her husband that are rudimentary to his being a man. God created man in His own image. Never forget that. There is nothing wrong with a man's need for his wife. He was made that way. And you, as his wife, were made to complete him. You both are intended to complete each other; you, in twain shall be one.
The wonderful blessing in all of this selfless service to meet the needs of your husband is that it truly does bring joy to the heart of the woman who serves her husband. Just as loving and serving a child who needs his mother brings indescribable joy to the heart of a mother; loving and serving a husband with willingness and gratitude brings joy to the heart of a wife. Expression of loving words, touching with love, serving with love, expressing gratitude; these all speak love to your husband clearly, and he needs it more than you may know... And you will discover that when you lose yourself in the service of your husband, you will find yourself.
In a world where so many women are seeking for fulfillment and not finding it, let us look to our homes and our husbands to find the joy in womanhood that so many of us feel is missing. It is my experience that the more you serve someone, the more you love them. You don't have to feel the love first... though most of us do feel the 'in love' feeling which leads to marriage in the first place. Yet, after years of marriage, you can find a deeper, longer lasting love growing through the 'in love' that was there at the start. The love that grows out of giving, serving and nurturing your husband is far sweeter and enduring than any other.
So, yes! If you feel unfulfilled; life WAS meant to be more than this. So, let us be about the work of making it more than it is. Let us rise to the occasion. Nothing worth having comes easy. Let us fulfill the role of womanhood in our homes, not just as loving and righteous mothers, but as loving and righteous and joyful wives.
It is easy to seek and find joy in motherhood. But, what about when the children are grown and gone? So many years of life are centered around raising children while they are growing, as well life should be during those years. However, if it's done right, a marriage is intended to last at least until death do you part, if I recall correctly from all of the weddings I've attended over the years. If husbands and wives are joined in the Everlasting Covenant of Marriage, as is availed to us within the walls of the Temple of the Lord, then marriage, if it's done right, is intended to last into the eternities, for what God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Considering the eternal prospect of marriage, it is wise to not lose sight of that which will be our primary relationship into the golden years of life, and beyond. We often (unwisely), become complacent in marriage. As women, we hold the keys to our own happiness. Even so, some women begin to feel disenchanted in marriage after many years... not that anything in particular is wrong; a woman may simply feel lacking in romantic love; she may feel like she's not living life to her potential or that she's missing out on something more...
It has been my personal experience in life that too many times women fall into the habit of becoming lazy in their service and giving of love to their husbands, and this always leads to unhappiness in the woman and many negative feelings such as those mentioned above. In cases where the husband is abusive, mentally ill, or otherwise unhealthy, all bets are off. But, if you're married to a healthy, generally well balanced human being, you'll find that most men are generally easy to please. It has been said that it is hard to find a good man... but it's not hard to keep one. This is true... and when a woman feels like the romance is over, it's too often the case that she's done that to herself.
Husbands need verbal appreciation, physical communication of love, and they need to be needed by their women. They need to be served by their wives in ways only a wife can serve her husband.
We've all heard that: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I know this is very cliche', but those old sayings aren't old sayings for nothing. I used to laugh at a cartoon my kids used to watch called 'Hey Arnold' in which a lazy character, Mr. Kakoshka (sp?) would say to his wife: Suzie! If you love me... make me a sandwich! It was silly, yes, but there is a thread of real man sentiment in that. Most men feel loved when fed by their wives. It's more like food for their soul... as my son likes to say.
A gift that Father in Heaven has given to women is that gift which brings joys to our hearts when we are engaged in the service of others. This is the root of the nurturing instinct of mothers. It is important to nurture our husbands as well. Not as you would a child, of course, for men need to be respected as the strong, masculine, amazingly wonderful beasts that they are. But, men do need to be nurtured by their wives in appropriate ways. By loving and accepting your husband, emotionally and physically, you serve him in a way he desperately needs, and in a way only you can. If you ever turn your husband away because you have a headache or are too tired to show him the love he needs from you, it is my position that you are rejecting 'one of the least of these, my brethren' as the Lord cautioned us not to do. If your child came crying to you for a hug, you would not turn him away. You would embrace him and kiss away his tears. Your husband will not likely come crying to you for attention. Do I need to go on?
Only a wife can righteously fulfill the innermost needs of her husband that are rudimentary to his being a man. God created man in His own image. Never forget that. There is nothing wrong with a man's need for his wife. He was made that way. And you, as his wife, were made to complete him. You both are intended to complete each other; you, in twain shall be one.
The wonderful blessing in all of this selfless service to meet the needs of your husband is that it truly does bring joy to the heart of the woman who serves her husband. Just as loving and serving a child who needs his mother brings indescribable joy to the heart of a mother; loving and serving a husband with willingness and gratitude brings joy to the heart of a wife. Expression of loving words, touching with love, serving with love, expressing gratitude; these all speak love to your husband clearly, and he needs it more than you may know... And you will discover that when you lose yourself in the service of your husband, you will find yourself.
In a world where so many women are seeking for fulfillment and not finding it, let us look to our homes and our husbands to find the joy in womanhood that so many of us feel is missing. It is my experience that the more you serve someone, the more you love them. You don't have to feel the love first... though most of us do feel the 'in love' feeling which leads to marriage in the first place. Yet, after years of marriage, you can find a deeper, longer lasting love growing through the 'in love' that was there at the start. The love that grows out of giving, serving and nurturing your husband is far sweeter and enduring than any other.
So, yes! If you feel unfulfilled; life WAS meant to be more than this. So, let us be about the work of making it more than it is. Let us rise to the occasion. Nothing worth having comes easy. Let us fulfill the role of womanhood in our homes, not just as loving and righteous mothers, but as loving and righteous and joyful wives.
How great would it be if everyone were to follow this advice??? Great post!!!
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