A Retraction

In a previous post I suggested that people are like campfires; cozy in a relationship at the proper distance... Get too close, and you might get burned. I've rethought that position and here is my the result of my ponderation:

When a person has reached his or her full potential as a spiritual being, one should be able to stand in the middle of the figurative campfire without harm. Shadrack, Meshack and Abidnago all stood in the midst of a firey furnace and came out without harm. Not a hair of their heads was singed. On an emotional and spiritual level, is it not possible, then, to figuratively stand within the flames of a relationship and not be burned when the one with whom one relates is offensive?

I feel very sure it must be possible to relate in a Christlike manner to someone who is unkind, rude, and sarcastic. My method until now has been to back away from such people, and to not relate to them very closely. For general acquaintances, this may be acceptable, however, when dealing with members of one's extended family, family or origin or family by marriage, this is not acceptable, in my view.

Trials in relationships can either divide us from each other or bind us more closely together. When I was a kid, and my shoestring broke, I tied the ends together so as to still be able to make us of the thing. Yes, there was an ugly knot there, but my shoe was tied and I could go on my way.

In relationships, sometimes we have to do something similar to keep it together. Somebody has to take special care to keep the functionality. If the other person doesn't do it, then I must be the one to do it. You must do it: be the one to bind you together. Many times, the best way to do this is to refuse to stay offended. Apologize even if you think you've done nothing wrong. Mean it. After all, if there is strife, everyone involved should feel sorry for it; for whatever has been said or done to cause upset in the other person, even if the thing was imagined or unintentional.

I believe it is intended that we maintain and build loving relationships with our family members. Beginning with our immediate family, then radiating outward, learning to grow healthy relationships is an exercise in the pursuit of personal excellence. Cultivating the ability to stand close to someone who is difficult is cultivating the ability to love without condition. It is easier to love a difficult family member from a distance, but no personal growth will occur if such is the case.

I can love and respect a tread mill from a distance, but unless I get on it and make it work, I will never truly grow because of my relationship with it.

If 'he sits as a refiner and purifier of silver' as the scripture says, then should I seek to escape the flames of Him who would purify me? If it is a difficult task, should I stand far enough away so as not to master it?

When I can stand in the middle of the flame and walk away without a hair of my head having been singed, then I have become the person I was designed to be.

If it were easy to love everybody, we wouldn't have to be commanded to do it. "A new commandment I give unto you; that you love one another, as I have loved you."

And if it were easy, we wouldn't have to be told to endure to the end.

These are some of the thoughts in my brain tonight.