Wondering and Wandering in the Wilderness
I've been wandering.
First, I left my home in Kyle, Texas to follow my husband to Fountain, Colorado. I felt lost there for a long time. Then, after a while, I found the special people the Lord placed in my path to be support, to be my friends, and I felt home.
After almost a year, I followed my husband away from Colorado and back to Texas... this time to Blanco; a small town in the Texas Hill Country. Here I am, lost again, and feeling like a stranger in a strange land... though a beautiful land where good people live.
For 40 years the Israelites wandered in the wilderness. They murmured against Moses... against God. Sometimes they complained it would have been easier for them to have remained in Egypt, where at least they felt at home...instead, they were lost in the wide world, doubting it was what was best for them.
It took the Hebrew slaves many years to become a people prepared to inherit the promised land. Many people were born and died while they wandered, until the time came when they were sufficiently humbled and obedient that the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, even the God of Jacob could bless them with all that had been promised their fathers.
I feel lost, in a way, and I wonder how long I'll wander in my wilderness before I'm sufficiently humble and obedient...? I know I was lead to Colorado for reasons my Father in Heaven knows... some of the reasons I know now, as well. I know, too that I was lead back to Texas for reasons my Father in Heaven knows. I'm not sure I know any of the reasons, yet, but hope I will, in time.
Just as I can look back and see the hand of the Lord guided by wisdom and care for my welfare when leading me away from my home of so many years, I believe the time will come when I look back on the whole of this passed year and see the wisdom... though I'm not quite getting a clear picture as of yet.
I've wondered about the Israelites; did they know they were rebellious? Did they know they were prideful and disobedient? When they were disobedient, did they justify their actions in such a way as to convince themselves that they were not? Do I do that same thing? The Lord was before them in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. I don't see the Lord in a cloud, nor a pillar. I know He is there...but sometimes I wish I could see Him everyday. Then again, even with the cloud and pillar, they were slow to remember all He had done for them... maybe I would be the same. I don't know. I'm wandering.
Part of what was wrong in those days, I think, is that the people tended to be pretty ungrateful. No, "Thank you, Moses, for leading us out of 400+ years of slavery"... Moses even sang to the children of Israel a song of gratitude that took up almost a whole chapter in Exodus 15. He sang the story of their deliverance and eventually got the whole camp of Israel involved in the music before he was done, with people singing and dancing and playing musical instruments. I guess it must be pretty important for us to remember what the Lord has done for us and to say 'thank you'... After all, the Lord's prophet led the singing.
I wonder if counting my blessings and remembering all the Lord has done for me will help me as I wander in my own personal wilderness like it helped the people of Israel?
It's been said that faith is hope for things which are true, but are not seen. Because I hope, then perhaps I have faith sufficient to find the promised land. I hope it doesn't take another 40 years.
It's interesting to me how Israel wandered around and around, so close to their destination, but so far away; so close, yet so far... I can relate.
Israel wandered in the wilderness, but they weren't lost. God knew where they were. He was slowly, gently, as they were ready, leading them to the place He wanted them to be. None of us is ever lost, though we may be wandering...Like me... I'm not lost, I'm wandering. God knows where I am.
If I put what trust and faith I have in the Lord, I know He will eventually lead me out of the wilderness. And if I don't see the pillar of fire, nor the cloud, I at least know who the prophet is, and I can follow him; sing when he sings; go where he tells me the Lord wants me to go...I can do that.
One thing about wandering: With the right guidance-- if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you eventually find your way home.
First, I left my home in Kyle, Texas to follow my husband to Fountain, Colorado. I felt lost there for a long time. Then, after a while, I found the special people the Lord placed in my path to be support, to be my friends, and I felt home.
After almost a year, I followed my husband away from Colorado and back to Texas... this time to Blanco; a small town in the Texas Hill Country. Here I am, lost again, and feeling like a stranger in a strange land... though a beautiful land where good people live.
For 40 years the Israelites wandered in the wilderness. They murmured against Moses... against God. Sometimes they complained it would have been easier for them to have remained in Egypt, where at least they felt at home...instead, they were lost in the wide world, doubting it was what was best for them.
It took the Hebrew slaves many years to become a people prepared to inherit the promised land. Many people were born and died while they wandered, until the time came when they were sufficiently humbled and obedient that the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, even the God of Jacob could bless them with all that had been promised their fathers.
I feel lost, in a way, and I wonder how long I'll wander in my wilderness before I'm sufficiently humble and obedient...? I know I was lead to Colorado for reasons my Father in Heaven knows... some of the reasons I know now, as well. I know, too that I was lead back to Texas for reasons my Father in Heaven knows. I'm not sure I know any of the reasons, yet, but hope I will, in time.
Just as I can look back and see the hand of the Lord guided by wisdom and care for my welfare when leading me away from my home of so many years, I believe the time will come when I look back on the whole of this passed year and see the wisdom... though I'm not quite getting a clear picture as of yet.
I've wondered about the Israelites; did they know they were rebellious? Did they know they were prideful and disobedient? When they were disobedient, did they justify their actions in such a way as to convince themselves that they were not? Do I do that same thing? The Lord was before them in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. I don't see the Lord in a cloud, nor a pillar. I know He is there...but sometimes I wish I could see Him everyday. Then again, even with the cloud and pillar, they were slow to remember all He had done for them... maybe I would be the same. I don't know. I'm wandering.
Part of what was wrong in those days, I think, is that the people tended to be pretty ungrateful. No, "Thank you, Moses, for leading us out of 400+ years of slavery"... Moses even sang to the children of Israel a song of gratitude that took up almost a whole chapter in Exodus 15. He sang the story of their deliverance and eventually got the whole camp of Israel involved in the music before he was done, with people singing and dancing and playing musical instruments. I guess it must be pretty important for us to remember what the Lord has done for us and to say 'thank you'... After all, the Lord's prophet led the singing.
I wonder if counting my blessings and remembering all the Lord has done for me will help me as I wander in my own personal wilderness like it helped the people of Israel?
It's been said that faith is hope for things which are true, but are not seen. Because I hope, then perhaps I have faith sufficient to find the promised land. I hope it doesn't take another 40 years.
It's interesting to me how Israel wandered around and around, so close to their destination, but so far away; so close, yet so far... I can relate.
Israel wandered in the wilderness, but they weren't lost. God knew where they were. He was slowly, gently, as they were ready, leading them to the place He wanted them to be. None of us is ever lost, though we may be wandering...Like me... I'm not lost, I'm wandering. God knows where I am.
If I put what trust and faith I have in the Lord, I know He will eventually lead me out of the wilderness. And if I don't see the pillar of fire, nor the cloud, I at least know who the prophet is, and I can follow him; sing when he sings; go where he tells me the Lord wants me to go...I can do that.
One thing about wandering: With the right guidance-- if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you eventually find your way home.
I have felt that same feeling, but wonder if my wandering will not come to an end until I return home to my Father in Heaven. It seems that I am often reminded that I "am a stranger here." Much in this world makes me feel out of place and out of my element. Perhaps it is part of our mortal experience that when we begin to feel settled and home, we must move on in order to progress and grow. If so, I've been wandering for 40 years--with another 40 (give or take) to go!
ReplyDeleteCharly