For the now...

I've been at a crossroad; it seems, for a while. Perhaps it's not that I've been paused at the crossroad... perhaps it's that the intersection is enormous. Although my decision is to continue forward in the same direction I've been travelling, it seems the forward path is difficult and many times I find myself looking to the left or right, if not veering. Many readers may know I've lost about 130 pounds in the last couple of years. I was 42 years old when I began the arduous journey to claim my body. It has been a very slow, ongoing process and though I'm very healthy now, I still feel I have something yet to accomplish. Most likely, I'll deal with that complex for the rest of my life, and that's OK. I liken it to a scary movie; you know it's just make believe, but later, in the dark of that night, as you lie in bed, you still get just a little nervous at the thought of getting up to go to the bathroom. That may just be a girl thing...but I know at least some of you commiserate. Having said that, my two and a half year journey toward my personal health and wellness potential has been long and slow. There've been many times I thought I was working for nothing. The scale didn't move for weeks at a time. My clothing all seemed to fit the same. I didn't see any change in myself. Regardless, I continued to go through the motions, doing the work I believed was the right thing for me. I had made the commitment to exercise. (Eventually, I made the commitment to cut back on calories... very slowy, I might add.)I had already made the choice that I was going to work out and, come what may, I was determined to continue, because the decision was already made. It's like that in life, generally speaking, I think... or should be. When we make a commitment, either to ourselves or to someone else, it may not appear as though everything is turning out the way we anticipated, but we made that commitment. Commitment means something. It doesn't mean it'll be easy. Haha! Mostly, in life, in my experience at least, it is exceptionally NOT easy to keep those commitments that matter most and those that have the most profound impact on us and those around us. We enter into covenants, and at some point in time down the road, it may become difficult to hold up our end of the deal. Now, whether that's because we sprained a figurative (or literal) ankle, or because we contracted a figurative (or literal) illness from someone coughing their germs on us...or whether someone drove their figurative (or literal) car by while we were minding our own business, working out, and took a shot at us, wounding us, even incapacitating us... Regardless, it's all the same. The covenant is ours. The promise made is our promise to keep. We may do well to ask ourselves: do I keep my commitments because it's easy? Do I keep them because other people keep theirs? Do I break mine because other people break theirs? Do the actions and choices of another justify my walking away from a commitment I made, though I believed the commitment was good and right when I made it? I made the commitment. It's mine. Is it dependent on someone else? This seems like a good place to mention I teach fitness classes at the local gym. I teach Monday through Friday every week. However, on Tuesday and Friday I teach two classes. In addition to my regular 8 o'clock classes, I teach a 'sit fit' class for seniors and those who are mobility impaired or have balance issues. Now-- the participants in the 'sit fit' classes could say, "It's difficult for me. I can't stand up. No matter how hard I try, I can't work out like (whomever), and I'll never be able to (pick your activity that most 90 year old people can't do...or most people who use a wheelchair can't do)..." That isn't what they say, though! No! Those 'sit fit' participants could all pull out and stay home because of the challenges they face in their struggle to hold on to their health as best they can. But, they don't stay home. They show up two days a week to do the best they can with what they have to work with at this point in life. They smile and lift those one, two or three pound weights and enjoy the struggle. They struggle to cross and uncross their ankles! They struggle to reach their toes! They struggle to even get there in the morning, but they come. True- they will not run a 5k this fall. For those who were born with physical limitations, running a 5k was never an option. Climbing a tree was never an option. Yet, instead of throwing in the towel because 'happily ever after' didn't look like they expected it to look, they rise up to meet the challenges they face and keep the commitment made to themselves to exercise! I'm so impressed with those class participants! Can you tell? It would be so easy to quit sometimes; so easy to just throw in the towel and give up! However, once a promise has been made, it has been made. A commitment to either oneself or to another is not to be taken lightly. A commitment is to be kept. The crossroad may seem wide and broad, but the path has been chosen. It may seem the journey is slow and very long, and perhaps more difficult than imagined beforehand...but it's the journey to which the commitment has already been made. To find out exactly what the full potential of the experience is, we must pursue the onward path. Though we may not see the benefit immediately or soon enough, we will in time. For the now...continue to press forward. Never stop starting. Have faith that the work will indeed produce desired results; perhaps not in our time, but in the time of Him who knows better than we what is best.