...reflections on genuine and counterfeit love...

At the root of the revolution in my life this past year 2014: What is love? Some have defined it as a feeling. I suppose the way we feel is part of it...but, if you feel something inside...if you say you love me because of how you feel about me; tell me how that affects me? I will tell you: It doesn't affect me. Just like what you think. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and think something right now. Are you thinking it? I can tell you honestly, it has had absolutely no effect on me. As a matter of fact, I don’t even know what thought you were thinking. And you know what? Not only do I not know what you're thinking, I don’t know how you feel, either. So, do your 'feelings' really matter to me? Well...if you’re significant to me, they do matter, but the point remains: HOW you feel has no effect on me. Now…WHAT you do about your feelings may affect me. Actually, it’s WHAT you do about your feelings that lets me know how you really feel…it’s what you do that may actually affect how I feel about you. Think about that. You might say you love me, but turn right around and do things that hurt me. How do you think I will feel about you then? Does how I feel matter? Do my feelings affect you? No…not unless my actions follow my feelings. If I feel hurt by you and afraid of you because you hurt me, I may stand farther from your reach. I may turn away from you. My actions tell you how I feel. It’s your actions that tell me how you really feel. It is not your words that tell me. When we say we love each other but we willfully and repeatedly hurt each other; that is not love. Who am I to say what is and isn't love, you may ask? Who am I to say? I'm not the one who defined it. Who, then, did set the pattern for love? Allow me to tell you something about that person; because he loved, he did something about it. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son…” Following this pattern; if I love you, I will do something about it…not just say something about it. Consider my belief that there are genuine and counterfeit emotions. Genuine love meets certain criteria, does it not? Love is patient and kind. Love isn't envious. It doesn't toot its own horn and doesn't say, "Look at everything I've done for you. I've done all these things for you..." True love is appropriate and more concerned for the other person than for oneself. If a person is filled with true love, he/she doesn't get upset easily at the one whom he/she loves, and love doesn't sit and think in the negative all the time. True love is clean and pure and honest. True love doesn't run off, but stands firm when things are tough to bear. Love believes, hopes and endures. It never fails. Those aren't my descriptions. Those definitions come from 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. Famous words on love, huh? The King James version of the Bible actually uses the word 'charity' instead of love. But, I believe charity is the pure love of Christ. T he pure love of Christ; meaning the way Christ loves us, our love of him and the love we give to each other, after the manner in which he has taught us to love. The counterfeit of true love would be along the lines of: impatient, rude or sarcastic, jealous, domineering, inappropriate, self-centered, grouchy, negative, dirty or fleshy, dishonest, let's you down, leaves when things are tough, is doubtful, feels hopeless and gives up. I've experienced both genuine and counterfeit love in my life. I've also given both, I'm not proud to admit. I'm thankful, though, to have been able to discern the difference between the two. How sad it would be to spend an entire lifetime on this planet without ever knowing the distinction...without giving and never receiving the real deal... It's been said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I may be the first to say that many a young and tender broken heart is thus fractured by love counterfeited. May you be a giver and a receiver of genuine love beginning today; that your own heart, and those of them you love may be whole and filled to overflowing. Happy New Year 2015!

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