What Money Can Buy...and What It Can't

On the way home from work and school the other day, my most excellent teenage daughter asked (pointing to a new double-wide mobile home that recently appeared on the property down the lane from us), “Why can’t we get something like that?” You see, we live in a 100+ year-old cabin on 100 acres of hill country land that has been in my good husband’s family for five generations. The cabin has an old single-wide mobile home pulled up against it, and though some may not consider it to be beautiful to look at from the outside, it’s homey inside and being here (we have all agreed), fills each of us with a feeling of safety and peace. There are enough bedrooms to accommodate us and we share the single bathroom well enough. I replied to my daughter, “Y’all are going to grow up and leave home in less than ten years. We don’t have a mortgage on the farm, and Wilson and I don’t want to be stuck paying for a big place like that for the next 30 years when y’all won’t even be here with us anymore. Besides, it’s all I can do to pay my half of ya’ll’s orthodontics.” That seemed like enough for her at that moment. Still, I know it’s a challenge for them to not compare our house to the one they visit every first and third weekend, and not feel like they’re missing out on something. Until we came here, they had been accustomed to more of what money can buy. It’s a difficult paradigm; the divorced father has the money. The divorced mother, who spent her life raising children (and not investing in her own education or building a career), has very little of it. It’s not a new scenario to society…just new to my kids. Even after these three years since the divorce, they still are adjusting. Maybe it’ll be a lifelong process. I don’t know. This is my first time, too. What can money buy, anyway? A house, a car, a boat, vacations, trips to the mall and the movies… I know about those things. I used to have more of what money can buy, too. But, you know what? Money can’t buy happiness. Money can’t buy love. Money can’t buy security. What? You say you don’t believe that last one about money not being able to buy security? I’m not talking about financial security. I’m talking about trust. I’m talking about self-control and dependability and loyalty and honor and integrity. Those are the things that make for security in a marriage and in a family. When children know that, no matter what happens, their mom and dad will love them and treasure them as the precious gift(s) they are, there is security. When a wife knows that, no matter what is going on to stress the family, her husband will never put her down, make her afraid of him or let her down; he will be a strong and dependable man who stands for something more than money can buy; there is security. Those things that truly make a house a home, have nothing to do with money. Money doesn’t equal security. We get lost, sometimes. We fall into believing the lie the world tells. The lie is: Having more money makes you better in some way. Living in a newer or bigger house, and driving a newer, more expensive vehicle makes you worthier in some way. Many years ago, I realized the lie for what it is. I realized that the true treasures of this earth come in the form of a newborn baby boy or girl. The treasures of this life are found in human bonds; family relationships. The best things in life are built over years of investing your time and talents and kindness in the life of another. The most important work we do is that which we do for love, not money. There is no greater work we do, than that which we do at home (a wise man once said). Will I be able to teach this to my children who are torn between their home that love built and the house that money built? Will they learn to value family scripture study and family prayer? Will they value our family home evening lessons, singing together and games we play as a family? Will they value our sitting together on the pew at church Sunday mornings? Will they value the kindness and controlled voices of their parents and the comfort that they must feel, knowing we will not allow them to fight and quarrel with one another…and knowing we don’t fight and quarrel between us, either. Will my children value the freedom of country living? Will they value discipline? Will they value their own self-control? Will they value what I value? If I had a different idea of what matters most in life, I wouldn’t have had 9 children. I would’ve been educated and employed years ago, instead of being home with my children. I wouldn’t have homeschooled, volunteered in their classrooms at public school, organized play groups, played with them at the park during the daytime hours when we were home together…there are so many things I wouldn’t have done…but I’m glad I did. I have no regrets when it comes to how I’ve mothered my children. I told them years ago, “These are the good old days. These are the days I will remember when I’m an old woman, and smile.” I was right. I still have a few children at home, but half of them are grown and gone their own ways. Sometimes, like today, I think back to the time they were all still home, and I smile to myself. I’m thankful for those memories. I’m proud of my children. Each is a distinctly unique and precious person. They each represent my very best efforts as a mother. They represent everything I had to give, because I gave my all and still give my all in my career of choice, that of Mother. I don’t know whether or not I will be what some might call successful, but I know that, whatever comes to pass, I gave my best. I will continue to give my best. Although my best is not something money can buy, I think it is worth infinitely more than anything one can purchase with money. The calling of Mother often reminds me of the passage in the Bible where Peter says “Gold and silver have I none, but such as I have, give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk.” (Acts 3:6) Such as I have, give I to my children. Such as I have, give I unto the Lord. I pray, in the end, all of my children and their children will rise up and walk in truth and righteousness and my legacy will be that of a righteous posterity throughout the generations of time and beyond… All of the money in the world means nothing, compared to that.