On Loving Children

As we said our good-byes, I leaned down and whispered, “I hope you come see me this summer. A girl can always use another Gigi.” She smiled and nodded “yes.” I had wondered, as we drove the four plus hours to the home of a family member for a one-day visit, how far I should stretch in reaching out to the young children I knew would be there this weekend to spend time with a live-in boyfriend; their father. I was uncertain if this would be the first and last time I would meet them, and for a brief moment, I questioned whether or not I should invest too much of myself in trying to relate to them. Although I had already cleared my mind of that ridiculous notion by the time we arrived, the moment I saw those children, my heart was touched by their plight and was drawn out toward them in grandmotherly love. Along with an ever-increasing number of American children, these kids are trying to find their normal somewhere between a part-time home of grandparents and two biological parents who both provide a semblance of step-siblings in two separate cohabitating environments. It’s a far cry from the stable home with mom and dad on the farm where grandfather grew up milking the cow. These children are among the millions at increased risk for a myriad of physical, emotional/mental, educational and socio-economic problems. If we ever thought we could solve the problems causing children depression, anger, violent tendencies, suicidal tendencies, poor attention, bad manners, kids who cut themselves, who steal, lie, bully, drop out of school, live in poverty…kids who kill themselves or who kill other kids; we may find it’s to late to undo some things that put our kids in a category of higher risk of all of these. Like with anything else related to fitness, we can’t go back and NOT be unfit from the beginning. What we can do, is go forward in a healthier direction, beginning now by first owning what we’ve done. Begin here: Selfless love never fails. Reach out to any child who crosses your path, in love and kindness. Better the odds for each one you meet by looking into his eyes and telling him he is special and good. Tell him you’re happy to see him. Tell one she is smart, precious and loved and that you feel lucky to be her friend or neighbor. Speak with gentle tones and with respect, even if s/he is loud or rude. Enough of yelling and sarcasm. Open your heart and your mouth. Speak love to children of all ages. You may be that grownup who changes the world for one.