What Grows Unattended

Have you ever noticed what grows along the water’s edge and in fields when nothing is purposefully planted and land is neglected? We encountered some of that today, here on the farm… The sun was shining on Sleepy Creek. It was a perfect day to tackle some improvements along the bank near the swimming hole. We and our four children (ages 17, 14, 11 and 9), all worked, played and enjoyed the day together, making happy memories on a sunny day in paradise. Not one of us complained about cleaning up as we started out to pick up anything Mother Nature didn’t deposit along the bluff. There were hatchets, machetes, loppers and other tools employed as we removed briars and generally improved the pathways and picnic areas. Each family member had a positive attitude about the whole effort. It was good, this time. It’s not always that way. Sometimes, kids will have a negative attitude about work (or whatever), and we realize it’s part of why they need us, their parents; to teach them a better, healthier way. Negative attitude is the result of a correctable error in thinking and it’s important to help with adjustments while kids are young, or they could carry the same negative attitude into adulthood, and how sad that is, when it happens. We’ve all probably known someone who was chronically unhappy, angry or simply easily upset. Chronically unhappy people tend to believe “I am who I am and I can’t do anything about it,” (and for the record: That belief is false.) When trials or challenges beset a person with this fixed mindset, s/he may feel hopelessly overwhelmed if not depressed. On the other hand, there are those who believe personal growth and improvement is possible with effort. Happy people generally believe they can be who they choose to be, and they believe goals can be achieved with enough effort and time (these are truths). An attitude rooted in believing this basic principle of growth lends to happiness because trials and challenges become opportunities for development instead of stumbling blocks. It really comes down to personal choice: You must choose to see your potential. The training of children to envision and believe in their full potential is one of the greatest tools for empowerment we can give them. It’s also one of the greatest parenting challenges, if you ask me. Let us resist the growth of what’s easiest: a negative, lazy, self-indulgent attitude of entitlement; natural characteristics too easily developed in the absence of cultivation (like weeds and thorns grow while you’re not looking). Take time to instruct with kindness and respect. Exemplify truth. Working together, grow something uncommonly beautiful. It’s worth every effort.

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