Stability in a Changing World

Fifty years ago, 23 May 1968, my mother delivered her youngest of eight children by emergency cesarean section; a 10lb girl. Although nearly 41 years-old at the time, and even though it was a close call for her, I have it on good authority she never regretted bringing me into the world. Detroit was in upheaval when I arrived on the scene. Both of my parents worked for the Detroit News during that historical time and got the close-up picture as to what was happening from day to day, year to year. The whole world seemed volatile as the cultural sand shifted. Not only were minds changing with regard to race relations, minds were also beginning to change regarding family; what it is, why it matters and what the roles of adults are in the family. There were plenty of people who believed the world, even back then, was no fit place raise a child at all. My own mother was the eternal optimist; hence, I was born. We look around today and see so much of violence and dread, one of my own teenage daughters has expressed fear over trying to raise children someday, in what seems to be an increasingly darkening world. Even in our small hometown of Blanco, some of us don’t feel safe like we did, as the once far from home troubled world, and even the horror of school shootings seems to be creeping in and happening closer to home. Almost 20 years ago, data indicated that school shooters have very few things in common, that hasn’t changed. One characteristic they do share is “difficulty coping with a major change in a significant relationship…prior to the school shooting.” (Interim Report on the Prevention of Targeted Violence in Schools, U.S. Secret Service National Threat Assessment Center, 2000). Consider the number of kids who come from unstable homes… For varying reasons, it has become the popular way, among educated, career-oriented professionals, that fewer and later is better, when it comes to having children. We don’t see the birth of child number 8 in an upper-middle-class family as often in 2018 as we did in 1968. Statistically speaking, children born into big families are more likely to be born to women with lesser education and lesser financial means, than only children, or children born into families with only one other child. There are plenty of reasons to be afraid. Remember, though, it’s been said that fear never conquered anything. Even if it’s frightening- it is responsible, intelligent, self-controlled, stable parents who are powerful to provide the healing balm society needs. This is accomplished by raising healthy, well-adjusted children who have skills to manage well in a changing world.