Be a Mentor

It’s easy enough for parents and teenagers to see the need for driver education classes. Most teens can’t wait for someone to help them along the pathway to becoming a licensed driver. Even so, we know that teen drivers are responsible for a high percentage of deaths on the road. However… When it comes to educating teens as to how to operate in human relationships, too often, rather than seeking ways to mentor and instruct, parents take direction from their teenagers, and they very simply ‘butt out.’ In the name of respect of privacy or perhaps because we think teens need ‘their space,’ we leave them alone to navigate perhaps the most dangerous years of growing up. When teens have little to no effective training in the ways of healthy boundary establishment, healthy communication and how to have a positive growth mindset, they’re at high risk for dangerous and even deadly consequences. If a driver’s ed teacher increases the odds your teen will develop sufficient knowledge and skills to operate a motor vehicle safely, a good mentor (life-coach is a new, popular label), increases the odds that your teen will have a safer, more successful experience during the high school years, and beyond. Data indicates improved grades, improved attendance, a reduction in the use and abuse of illegal drugs and positive lifelong benefits are associated with teens who have at least one positive adult (or significantly older individual, for younger teens), mentor. Mentors can be teachers, neighbors, church leaders, grandparents, or family friends, and often can be found through civic organizations. A good mentor helps a teen by healthy conversations and by setting a good example. Teens with healthy, effective mentors tend to have better cognitive skills, better ability to see from differing perspectives, better self-regulation, and more empathy, resourcefulness and resilience when faced with challenges. When an adult has faith in a teenager, and deems him worthy of the investment of time in the relationship, the teenager can more easily see his own self-worth. “If I’m worth your time, I must really be worth something,” is the message mentoring sends. It’s a powerful and valuable message. Now is a tough time to be growing up. Children and teenagers (and parents), need all the help they can get. Connecting with one heart and mind at a time is the best way to lift and help. If you don’t know where to begin, look for ideas on the website of The National Mentoring Partnership at mentoring.org. More valuable than teaching a teenager to operate a car is influencing the way a he values and operates in his life. Don’t butt out, reach out. Find a mentor. Be a mentor.

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