By now, most of you know about my little girl who grew up to be sailor who went down in a submarine to the bottom of the sea: She’s coming home for a brief visit and we’re both nervous. She’s worried she won’t ‘fit in’ at home anymore. I’m hoping she’ll let her walls down enough to feel how truly she’s loved; as she’s always been and always will be. She has become very aware of herself, and with her developing self-awareness has come a realization of the power she wields to determine her destiny. I’m proud of her uniqueness and strength, but see in her more than she sees in herself. As self-awareness grows and develops, we find we better understand ourselves and can see our unique qualities as individuals. This is empowering and allows us to identify strengths and weaknesses to the end we can choose to change and grow, improving as we do. If not guided carefully during the developing process, however, self-awareness can grow in an unhealthy way, leading to feelings of isolation. Feeling isolated can lead to many unhealthy places in the mind. For some people, a hyper self-awareness (self-absorption), leads to profound self-doubt, anxiety and depression to the point that every-day living is impacted and impaired. Too much self-focus can undermine the closeness that all relationships require if they’re to be nurturing and resilient. When constantly self-absorbed, one’s capacity for empathy is undermined by a hidden inner feeling that there’s never enough (of whatever is wanted), and the current state of things is generally not good enough. In a paradoxical way, too much focus on self is damaging to the self. To encourage a shift from a narcissistic tendency toward a healthier perspective, remind yourself and those you love that we are never truly alone. We are all part of billions of people on this planet at a given moment. All are born naked and inhale a singular, first breath. Each of us will draw our own last breaths. We are part of each other; the human family. We all become acquainted with joy and sorrow. Fear is our common foe. Hope is our common friend. We’ve all been young. We’ll all be older… Individuals are powerful to help other individuals. Developing and cultivating skills to foster feelings of human connectedness is a worthy effort. Another paradox: Focusing on serving others will improve one’s own state of wellbeing. My sailor is young and sees the divide between us; maybe even between herself and the rest of the world. I’m old; I see we are not divided, but are the same person, on the same path, at different places in our respective journeys. Be well.

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