My oldest son and I saw a controversial and disturbing movie last week. Whatever the point of it, our conversation in the aftermath was all about mental health. Not to spoil an unnamed movie, but the encapsulation of the entirety of it was contained in a line near the climax and was something like, “What do you get when you cross a mentally ill individual with a society that ignores him and treats him like trash? You get what you deserve.” Such a line speaks to so many questions “why?” Why do people kill each other? Why do some kill themselves? Why is there abuse? Why are some of us seemingly so easy to overlook? Why is there so much darkness in the world? By the end of the movie, my son and I had a pretty good idea why this character became the infamous villain he became. We were sad. We were also motivated. One need not be a parent, a minister, a teacher or therapist to reach out in kindness; even to reciprocate kindness, when the opportunity arises. In every facet of society, there are lonely people who feel isolated. Such people are among us. How do we recognize those who are emotionally malnourished? If the physical body shows symptoms of starvation, so does the metaphysical body. Here are some things you may observe in our community, even in people you don’t know: anger over something seemingly insignificant, fear or nervousness about common, everyday interactions with other people, appearing to be withdrawn from others in a group setting, talking to him/herself (yes, sometimes I do that, too), being extremely thin OR extremely heavy (sorry, but those are sometimes indicators), unkempt appearance or poor hygiene, appearing sad or down or possibly seeming to feel lost or confused. Certainly, there are many other symptoms, but it would be difficult to recognize many of the signs of mental illness in someone with whom no personal relationship exists. (Search mentalhealth.gov for more information.) If you’re watchful, you’ll find ample opportunities to reach out, even to strangers. Smile. Say “Thank you.” Say, “I hear you,” “I understand,” “Things like this can be tough.” There might be a time when no words come or when a nonverbal acknowledgement is all that’s needed to affirm a connection between you and someone who is in dire need of affirmation. Look for opportunities to connect with people, not because you’re afraid society might get what it deserves for ignoring the lonely, but because you recognize this truth: No ill fate determines our destiny. We are each powerful to affect change in our own lives and to influence the lives of others for good or ill. Be well.

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