Said the Italian sculptor, painter, architect and poet, Michelangelo: “To touch is to give life.” It’s been hard to refrain from touching people at work and in public. In the interest of preserving life we’ve taken necessarily drastic steps, and by so doing, some say, have decreased its quality.
My oldest son has cerebral palsy and lives in a nearby nursing home facility. He’s suffering (alongside countless others), the effects of decreased human connection and it’s taking a toll on his already fragile emotional health. He feels on edge and is easily upset. He feels lonely and hopeless, at times. While many of us on the “outside” (as he calls it), are able to “come and go as we please,” and “sit beside each other when we watch TV or any other time we want to,” he feels alone inside what he has come to see as a “prison,” and sees no end in sight. He feels anxious, depressed, he isn’t sleeping well and says he’s decided “it’s better to just not care about anything.” All are textbook associations with Skin Hunger.
“…Research is suggesting that touch is truly fundamental to human communication, bonding, and health.” (Dacher Keltner, PhD, UC Berkeley).
A life without sufficient, compassionate touch results in feeling overwhelmingly lonely and is linked to both physical and mental health problems. My son isn’t exceptional in the way he sees what’s happening. People with moderated emotional or intellectual capacity have a more difficult time holding on to the understanding that what is happening is a passing thing and normalcy will be restored, in time. In the moments of loneliness and depression, it seems that what is happening now will be the way life will forever be; with feelings of disconnect and hopelessness.
Touch is one way to communicate emotions such as love, gratitude, and sympathy. During times of duress, we need to touch each other more. Infants, children and most of us are best comforted by compassionate, appropriate touching. We are, by design, intended to be connected to each other in families and in communities.
When we hunger for touch, most of us can hire a massage, adopt a pet, get a manicure, a haircut or go out dancing. Some of us can get close to loved ones at home. We can head to the library, the market or anywhere public, and greet people with a handshake. A good hug can boost hormones that elevate mood.
When COVID-19 fear has subsided, most of us will return to normal life with all of the freedom of mobility and association we ever had. But, don’t wait for that day to lift someone. Use compassionate touch and “give life” today.
Be well.
Life Cycles
Like the cycles of freedom and bondage experienced ages before Polybius wrote his theories of benign and malignant governments, we continue to cycle today, even thousands of years later. Generations, societies, governments and the governed cycle. Even the earth cycles as it spins through day and night, revolving through seasons and years over millennia and eons of time. Cycles are a theme of living things; growth and decline. We struggle for growth and cycle through periods of accomplishment and strength then ease and weakness. Time spent at ease leads to weakness; a very natural part of the living cycle. This is true for the body, both physical and metaphysical. Among my close friends, I would say this is true for both the body and the spirit. The phenomenon manifests in societies of all sizes, from that of the United States to those the size of the average American family. Around and around we go from weak to strong to weak; from poor to rich to poor. Generation after generation; hum...
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