Beyond the Door

On 12 August 1990 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. We named her Heather Elizabeth. I hadn't thought I could possibly love a second child as much as I loved Daniel Jr. until Heather was born and I cradled her in may arms. Sadly, four weeks after she was born on a Sunday, my sweet little girl passed away on a Sunday, September 9th. She died of S.I.D.S. (sudden infant death syndrome), also known as crib-death. It was during that time of sorrow I realized no one can comfort me. No person on this earth can ease that pain. The arms of a loving , grieving husband cannot give comfort. The words of a friend or minister are no help. Even knowledge and testimony of life in heaven after earth doesn't erase the mark upon the heart of a mother with milk in her breasts and no child to suckle. No baby to hold and arms aching to embrace the little body now cold and lifeless. There is no balm in Gilead for such suffering in that moment of darkness. Yet, one day passed away, then two, and it became apparent that the world would continue to rotate on its axis regardless of desire or despair... and sooner than I ever thought it would pass away, now nearly 19 years have come and gone since I held Heather in my arms. Looking back, I know I have been comforted. I know I have been guided through the valley of the shadow of death. I know I have been remembered and loved. I know the Lord has been my support when no one's arms could hold me. I know when I reached out from my darkness, He was truly there, though I couldn't feel Him in that moment. I have come to know, now looking back, the times He truly held me up when I felt like sinking into the grave myself. Thanks be to my God for bearing me up when all of my world seemed to weight me down. I've had so many good things in my life for which to be grateful since that dark time, and I ever will be grateful. As life does go, my have have gone on. Sorrow does, with time, ease over the years, and so mine has. The promises that have been made by the Lord will be kept. I'm counting on it. I look forward to that time when I shall again hold my daughter close and whisper the words of a mother's love in her ears.The poem below was written in September 1991, one year after Heather passed beyond the veil.

Beyond the Door
by sally windham

Many times you've shed a tear for my grief.
Too many times you've bent low to shoulder my drooping head.
How many times have you lifted me up from the depths of sorrow?
How many more times will I call you to come dry my tears?

Echoing through the still of night, my voice cries out to you.
Like the wind that gives the eagle flight, you come swiftly and soon.
You take the river of my sorrows for water to the flowers of my garden.
You hold my trembling hand and smooth my furrowed brow.

Fear remains beyond the door to the world outside my self.
I must pass Him each day I rise to live.
I believe I can do it with your hand to hold.
You offer it daily and I reach for it with gratitude.

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