Rememering Heather

Halloween is on clearance, and Christmas items are already for sale. I read “Joy to the World” the other day. It was part of an advertisement. Everybody wants joy, right? And it ‘tis the season… A treasured friend recently gifted to me “The Book of Joy.” In it, the Dalai Lama (the spiritual leader of Tibet), and Desmond Tutu (the Archbishop Emeritus of the Anglican Church of South Africa), working together, proposed there are three basic pillars of joy: 1. The ability to reframe difficult situations so that we can see opportunity for growth during challenging times, 2. The ability to experience gratitude and 3. The choice to be kind and generous, as a way of living (The Book of Joy, 2018). Two of these three ‘pillars’ are very easily coachable. Frankly, behaving in a kind and generous way is something so easy to train, we are able to teach it to our children (and I hope we’re doing that). How do we train for gratitude, though? Begin by giving thanks. Say “thank you,” on a daily basis (without sarcasm). Say it to your family members, your employees, your classmates and to strangers, when the opportunity presents itself. It’s a simple exercise, but the easiest place to start. Next, every time you begin to think of what you don’t have or what you want, but can’t afford, focus on what you DO have. Count every single item that makes your life more comfortable than the starving or homeless people who also live on this planet. It might initially seem forced or unnatural, but you’ll get better with practice. Also, with practice, you’ll find you can even learn to reframe situations in your mind so that difficult times no longer bring you misery. You can develop the ability to see challenges as opportunities for positive growth and development. Writing thank-you notes for your eyes only, can help you develop this skill. Do this in a journal, so you can reflect on your progress, over time. You may begin by chronicling your difficulties, then, add to your entry. Write what you might possibly learn from your challenge. Write what you’re grateful for, in the midst of the challenge. Again, as you practice, you’ll become more and more skilled. Eventually, your thoughts will change before the writing exercise. Thoughts create feelings. Gratitude is born of the way we think. It takes time for any training program to produce results. Be patient. Improving Thanksgiving is a matter of health. It’s wise for us all to focus on learning to cultivate and practice maintaining an attitude of gratitude throughout the year. Thanksgiving makes for happy and it can’t be bought. Always be thankful. Be well