Rememering Heather

In one of three containers on a shelf near a window are two lemon trees, each about half an inch tall. When I planted the fifteen little seeds, I imagined gifting small lemon trees to my adult children hoping they’ll remember how I love them when they smell the sweet blossoms in bloom, as I remember my dear friend who gifted the mother tree to me. I sentimentalized mental images of my grandchildren squeezing lemons to make lemonade, knowing Gigi and Grandpa gave them the tree from which their little hands plucked the juicy, ripe fruit. It’s a long stretch between tucking a little seed into a pot and gifting even a small, potted, albeit well-established tree, ready to blossom and bear fruit. Many factors come into play and will determine the success of my project. Like anything, it involves desire, action, instrumentality and patience to change a lemon and some dirt into what I envision. I want. I’ve acted. I have good seeds and soil. It’s time and endurance I need now. Whether changing the way we relate to others or changing habits that affect our physical health, there are some patterns and methods we can learn to recognize and use to our advantage, to increase the odds our little seeds (whatever they might be), will take root and continue to grow. The transtheoretical model (TTM) of change is a helpful predictor of success or failure in developing good and breaking bad habits or patterns of behavior. TTM identifies a series of five stages of change: precontemplation (before you recognize a need for change), contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance. There are some identified factors that predict whether or not you get to the “maintenance,” stage, too, but the one I’ve seen as the biggest stumbling block is self-efficacy; believing you can succeed in whatever is your goal. When you believe you CAN succeed, you will continue to start again, when you get off track. Continuing to begin again (day after day, week after week), becomes maintenance and thus the path to change and a new pattern of lifestyle. As I touch the dry top soil around my infant trees, I’m reminded they need water and nutrient rich soil. It’s nighttime. I consider the cycles of darkness and sunlight are healthy for them. Perhaps the fluctuating moisture won’t hurt them, either. It’s natural in their path to changing. Maybe some will fail. That’s OK. More seeds can be planted. Besides, I strongly desire to gift lemon trees to my children. I’ll continue to plant and won’t stop until I have one for each. Because I believe, I can. Seeds for thought: Change your thinking; your direction; your destiny. Be well.