Rememering Heather

It was my son’s 33rd birthday. We weren’t allowed to touch him, but we did gather outside the nursing home to sing and tell him we love him. I spent a lot of time and put quite a bit of effort into his special cake. I make the same cake for him every year; usually a massive, triple layered cake, big enough to share with all of the residents and staff. This year, I made one only for him. It was still layered and decorated in fancy fashion, but very small. I hoped it would make him feel special; loved. As we approached the facility as a group (“little” brothers, their wives and babies, little sisters and parents), I dropped that birthday cake. It slid right off my hand, flipped over and landed top down on the asphalt. I won’t go into how I felt in that moment, or how the ‘celebration’ was affected. We carried on… The fourth step in the change process is to take action. The thinking, the planning, the learning; all of the first steps done, the time comes when you have to get up and do something. Whether that means getting up an hour earlier to work out before it gets too hot or throwing out all of the junk food, this is the hardest step. If you didn’t spend enough time planning your action, you’ll find success is more difficult to achieve on your first attempt. The good news is, you learn with every effort, so you increase your odds of success as you try again (remember: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again). If you don’t stick with your action, don’t consider it a failure, think of it as a step in the right direction. No worthy effort is a waste. Consider the fancy little birthday cake I dropped. It was a success, even if not exactly the way I planned. It gave my son an opportunity to do something nice for me. He said, “It’s OK, Mom. I know it was probably beautiful.” He said he would take what was left. I cut away what once was the pretty top and gave him the ugly what-was-left. He said he loved it because I made it for him. I promised to make him another one, even if it’s not his birthday anymore. He enjoyed the sort-of togetherness (from a distance), and there was left with him the hope of something more. There’s always hope for something more when you take action. If your actions today don’t measure up to your plan, you can have a do-over. Never stop starting. It’s never too late to start. It’s time: Take action. Be well.