Rememering Heather

I’ve spent time watching a few movies lately. I’ve walked outside. I’ve prepared special menu items. I’ve travelled extra miles. I’ve sometimes slept fewer hours (sometimes more), and have extended, received and responded to more greetings than usual. The common thread binding all of these is people I love: All of these activities have been shared events, involving family and friends. It’s not the drives into the city that I enjoy, it’s the loving grandchildren and young parents; our adult children and their own growing families. I don’t care so much for handwriting notes and remembering to drop envelopes in the mail, but the sentiments expressed are real and those who open the envelopes I send are people whose feelings I value and to whom my expressions of love are significant. It’s been time well spent. Over these next few weeks, we’ll be particularly aware of how we spend our time. Some moments will be stressful, some very happy and sometimes we’ll feel sad; all normal. For some of us, the “Holiday Blues” are a very real phenomenon. Family conflict, loss, break ups, divorce, loneliness and mental health issues can feel especially heavy during the winter holidays. It’s not that these issues are any more pressing between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but where we focus and how we spend time can make it seem so. Be mindful of what you have and be thankful. Combat negative feelings of deficiency and lack by not comparing your Christmas with anyone else’s. We can’t see the deeper realities of other people’s/families’ lives, so comparisons can only be skewed. Also, what we remember from childhood may seem perfect, compared to life now; but we no longer see life through the eyes of a child. Keep that in mind. Expect to accomplish only as much as your body will reasonably allow. Get sufficient sleep. Make plans, allowing for some flexibility. It’s OK to turn down invitations when your schedule feels overwhelming. Take care of yourself this busy holiday season. You’ll enjoy the season more if you do (and so will those closest to you). The best Christmastime tip I have is this: Focus on making this season special for someone else. Be the friend you’d like to have. When you feel blue, be the one to share a smile. Be the one who speaks a kind word. When you yearn for more of the Christmas Spirit to prevail, be the one who sings first in the park or walking down the isle in the store. If you hope for love or care from others, be a source of loving kindness for someone else. Time spent in the service of others is time well spent. Be well