Rememering Heather

Originally written Febraury 2020 Many of us enjoyed receiving and giving special attention last week (we especially enjoyed the roses and chocolate covered strawberries that were delivered by the most handsome cowboy ever!). Although there are dozens of love-related holidays on the national calendar, it seems Valentine’s Day gets most of the glory, so you might’ve not known that February 13th was National Love Yourself Day. Like we counsel young lovers to treat every day as if it’s Valentine’s Day, allow me to suggest some ways we can treat every day like it’s Love Yourself Day, as well. The first step in any training program is to evaluation your current condition, so evaluate how you treat yourself. Do you badger or kick yourself when you’re down (in a way that seems to come so naturally to many of us)? Or, do you show yourself the same understanding and compassion you’d show a friend when s/he faces a mistake or failure? If you’re hard on yourself when you’re down, you can improve your behavior. It requires patience, endurance and practice, like anything else, but you can do it. Forgiving and nurturing yourself is connected to improved overall health. Your relationships with other people will be healthier when you have a healthy, happy relationship with yourself. Decreased anxiety and depression result when you increase your self-compassion, which means recognizing that you need kindness, and then giving it to yourself. Consider your body: It needs comfort and kindness. Take care of and comfort your body. Eat something healthy. Rest. Take time to massage your feet, hands, neck and shoulders. Keep your body clean and strong. All of these are kindnesses you show to yourself. Consider your intellect and your feelings (or your metaphysical body): Take time to comfort your mind and spirit. Focus on a time you’ve felt down; when you’ve suffered. Now, write a letter to yourself (you can easily use a journal for this practice). Write about what happened without judging yourself or blaming anyone. Simply express your thoughts. This is a way to validate your feelings and to better understand yourself. Write words of encouragement, as you would give to a friend in need. Write, or even speak words of support and understanding to yourself. This is self-compassion and is a kindness. Compassion toward self doesn’t come as naturally to all of us as it does to some. If you need to improve your self-compassion, feel encouraged because it’s a trainable skill. Be bold and determine to improve your compassionate treatment of you. When you’re healthy and strong in body and mind, you’re better positioned to strengthen and lift those around you. Make the world a better place by truly loving you. Be well.