What Really Matters, According to Me

When I was a little girl, my parents divorced. I was three and a half... not quiet four. It was long after my third birthday, because I remember my dad being there at home when I threw my bottle in the garbage, because three year old girls are too big to drink a baby bottle. He found me out later when I went garbage picking and washed it out and filled it up with milk... he wasn't too upset... thought it was funny. I digress- I know I wasn't four yet, because I was four when my brother Johnny was shot to death it the other room of our house during an argument with my sister's boyfriend. We lived in Loveland Park Ohio at that time... after the divorce. It was after we moved from Detroit to Loveland Park and then on to Modesto California that the first memorable sorrow relative to my parents' divorce came to me. My dad followed us to Modesto, California, to be near his children. He had a niece and her family nearby in Sunnyvale, so it worked for him on a couple fronts. At...

In a previous post I suggested that people are like campfires; cozy in a relationship at the proper distance... Get too close, and you might get burned. I've rethought that position and here is my the result of my ponderation: When a person has reached his or her full potential as a spiritual being, one should be able to stand in the middle of the figurative campfire without harm. Shadrack, Meshack and Abidnago all stood in the midst of a firey furnace and came out without harm. Not a hair of their heads was singed. On an emotional and spiritual level, is it not possible, then, to figuratively stand within the flames of a relationship and not be burned when the one with whom one relates is offensive? I feel very sure it must be possible to relate in a Christlike manner to someone who is unkind, rude, and sarcastic. My method until now has been to back away from such people, and to not relate to them very closely. For general acquaintances, this may be acceptable, however, when deal...

Years ago a storm blew through Harwood, Texas. I believe it may have been 1993, but don't quote me on that. The day before, two identical peach trees stood in the yard of Clint and Julie Fairchild; neighbors of mine to the West. I remember when the Fairchilds planted those two trees several years earlier, and now, in May of that year, they both were laden with fruit. Both were mature and beautiful trees. No one may have ever known how the two trees differed if the storm had not come to town that year. The day after the winds howled and the rains came down in sideways sheets, only one of the trees was standing. The other was laying on its side, uprooted and dying. One survived the storm; the other did not. What was the difference? The roots. A tree with roots sunk deep into the earth is more likely to withstand the storms that rage. A tree with shallow roots is more likely to topple in the wind... And what good is a dead tree? What fruit does it offer next season? What does it matte...

I had a weird experience today that has caused me to reflect on what I might want to avoid in the future. I invited some people to share in an activity with some of my kids and me in a public venue. One of those whom I had invited said some things to me in front of other guests and my children that should have been discussed in a more private setting. I was concerned about the subject matter, yes. However, after pondering the whole situation, I came to more fully realized that the root of my upset about the whole thing was that it happened in front of my kids and others. What was discussed should have been discussed privately. I thought, at first that I should avoid anything that may upset my guest. Now I have come to think I should avoid keeping company with those who show little prudence and who see the world through a negative lens. It's possible I am blind to some ugly things. It's possible I am ignorant to some sad and unfortunate things. But, I prefer to see beauty in the...

It's been so much fun this summer,though the time is growing short. It always amazes me how quickly time passes. Today, if what might have been had come to pass; we would celebrate Heather's 20th birthday. Instead, those of us who are able, remember her and think about what might have been. I was talking to a sweet friend of mine who recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She told me her relationship with her infant daughter has been touched by my remembrances of Heather and my relationship with her. If you are curious as to how that may be, you may read some of my blog posts from last year or so to get an idea. It is very meaningful to me that Heather's life, though a brief moment on earth, touched Baby's life. With the lives of all of my children: though the moments of their lives spent under my roof seem brief, their impact on my life has been profound. Philip will leave here on September 7th. I remember the day I first put him to my breast like it was yester...

My son Philip will report to the LDS mission training center on 8 September 2010 to serve a two year full time mission in San Bernardino California. I will miss him. Many people have told me it will be more difficult than I think to be parted from him for two years, with only email contact and two phone calls per year. I'm sure they are right. It will be difficult... but... Most people I know haven't experienced the death of a child. I know three other women personally who've lost a daughter, as I have lost one to death in childhood. My mother would have made four, but she is gone now. Knowing your child is parted from you for the duration of mortal existence is painful. There is hope, of course, through the atoning sacrifice of Christ, but death still retains her sting to a degree difficult to bear. On 9 September it will have been twenty years since my husband carried the small casket in his arms from the country church in Harwood, Texas to the cemetery in the field beyon...