What Really Matters, According to Me

At the kitchen table after supper, my 14-year-old daughter sat writing an essay for an English assignment. She asked me several questions and we talked quite a bit about her topic: Bully Awareness Day. When all of her questions were asked, I began to ask questions of her: Why do we have such a problem with bullying? Can it be stopped? Why should we try? Why do we care about violence in the hallways and classrooms? Not only that, but why should we care if kids (and adults for that matter), take drugs? Why should we care if there are kids overdosing in the bathroom at school? Why do we try to stop people from committing suicide, anyway? Isn’t that their choice? Why not say “Toughen up, or KYS?” Why don’t we adopt more of a survival of the fittest attitude? Why NOT many things? After a moment of silent reflection, I looked into the searching, almost wounded eyes of my girl and told her that we, as a people, are haunted by the ghost of some truth we used to know. Like a stirring in our he...

Through my past 5 years of young women's I have learned and experienced many things, things that have shaped me and continue to shape me into the women I have become, and will become. I've learned the importance of studying your scriptures, serving others, and practicing skills that I would and will use in my future life and family. I look out at all the young women here and see the beautiful potential that you all have. You all have so much power within you that will only grow stronger. Through my years of completing tasks of personal progress, little by little. I have learned that I have power within me too, little by little. Faith, divine nature, individual worth, knowledge, choice and accountability, good works, integrity, virtue are only SOME of the divine attributes you will learn to acquire as you complete your personal progress. In a talk By Elder John C. Pingree Jr. Of the Seventy called “I have a work for thee” he says “The Lord has more in mind for you than you ...

9-26-18 If you don’t text with kids, you may not know what LOL means, or GTG or LMS. What about KYS? Do you know what that means? KYS; one of the shorthand messages that’s been in popular social media use since its inception. Trying to figure out exactly where it first began is sort of like trying to discover exactly who first used ‘OK’ to mean ‘yes.’ Regardless, it’s either a smart-aleck remark or a dangerous prod. In case you don’t know, KYS is an acronym for ‘kill yourself,’ and our kids have been seeing it and using it in texts, memes and via smartphone apps for years. What the big boys do at the high school level trickles down to the children in elementary school, and those who bring their smartphones to school (roughly half of elementary age kids have one by the time they’re 8), know what it means when someone says KYS. On top of that, “Why don’t you just kill yourself?” has become increasingly common in the school age population as a spoken put-down, of sorts, and it’s worse ...

My teenage daughters and I took a ‘break from the fake’ not long ago and fasted (so to speak), from social media for a week. At the end of the week, we all went back to normal, with a better perspective, we agreed. Another week or so passed, and my fourteen-year-old said she realized her use of social media was making her feel bad. She felt much better during the week of the break, so decided to quit social media completely. I’m impressed with her maturity and wisdom, and told her so. It’s well-documented and unrefuted that social media use (and the screen time that comes with), is linked to numerous negative health outcomes, including headaches, insomnia, obesity and even diabetes and heart disease (from sitting around and sometimes even snacking while on the screen). Just as concerning, however, are mental health issues associated particularly with social media use, such as anxiety, depression, antisocial tendencies, feelings of isolation, and social media addiction (for more inform...

I appreciate the outpouring of concern over my pain-in-the-neck. The MRI results are in and is seems there are some small missing pieces of bone, some missing cartilage, a couple of bones sitting crooked and some discs in an unhealthy condition. The resulting chronic headache, neck and shoulder pain, and numbness in my arm and hand are limiting my mobility and affecting my life. I plan to meet with a neurosurgeon, hopefully sometime sooner rather than later. I’m not getting any younger, after all. Like all of us, I’m getting older. We all know what that means. Aging can and does bring countless changes. Chronic conditions related to aging are sometimes inevitable. According to the National Council on Aging, the top five chronic conditions affecting older people, beginning with the most prevalent, are: high blood pressure (almost 2/3 of the 65+ population), high cholesterol (almost ½), arthritis (about 1/3), heart disease (about 1/3), and diabetes (more than ¼). There are other conditio...

I don’t very often, but I fainted the other day. I surprised myself. I try not to swoon, as a rule. The circumstances were uncommon, though, and that’s usually how it is when something like that takes us by surprise. I had been sitting up, awake, all night, with my mother-in-law, as she was passing beyond the veil that separates this world from the next. My good husband and I were both physically and emotionally exhausted. We stepped out for a brief respite, while the hospice workers tended to cleaning and preparing Mrs. Blackburn for final farewells. Upon reentering the room, something about the moment was overwhelming and I stumbled backward, thankful (after the fact), that a chair had been directly behind me. That physical experience eclipsed my emotions, briefly. Likely, about 1/3 of you know what I mean because you’ve experienced it, too. NMS (neurally mediated syncope), neurocardiogenic syncope, and vasovagal syncope are all terms for what we call fainting. This, generally benig...

A treasured friend told me today that I’ve left my handprint upon her heart (she quoted a line from a song she heard on the way to SWEAT with me, and said it spoke to her of me). Of course, I felt a welling of emotion. She’s left her handprint upon mine, too. That’s what we do in this life, isn’t it (if we do it right)? We leave our marks upon each other, upon the rising generation, upon the land, upon whatever it may be that will remember us when we’re gone… As I write, I’m sitting in the room with my mother-in-law, as her breathing grows increasingly shallow by the hour and her feeble heart grows tired of beating. Her body is aged and failing. She’s lived a long and wonderful life. Not only did she bring six boys and a daughter into this world, but she raised them in the hills, on a farm, in a little two-room cabin, with no modern utilities. She raised happy children and happy grandchildren who were, and ever will be honored to call her mother. She did it right. This fine lady has le...