What Really Matters, According to Me

I recently had occasion to spend time in the company of a couple celebrating their 64th wedding anniversary. Donna told me they’ve not had one argument to date. (There was a time I would’ve doubted her.) In a brief few minutes, Bob and Donna Johnson shared their story with me: She came from a large family of 12 children. They were poor, but didn’t know it. The children may have fussed with each other, but the parents never did. Their family was peaceful. Bob came from what he called a “broken home.” He wasn’t kidding. When he was ten years old, Bob’s parents BOTH left the family of three children. Bob, the oldest, cared for his two younger sisters, ages 8 and 3, by feeding them cereal and milk he charged on an open tab left by his father at the local market. This went on for a few weeks until the grocer became suspicious. Bob said the grocer must’ve done some detective work because not many days after questioning him about when his daddy was going to come pay the bill (to which the boy...

Many years ago, I told my mother “I intended to” (whatever it was), and she introduced me to the old adage, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I didn’t understand that at first, being pretty young, but my mother explained: good intentions do no good unless they’re backed up by good deeds. I was thereafter prejudiced to the proverb for decades…until I came to see it from another angle only recently. An offer to help was made to someone who took offense at the suggestion and ‘all hell broke loose.’ One might say there’s ‘hell to pay’ now. In a different way, I see our good intentions have inadvertently paved the road to what has come to feel like hell in the relationship between those who would have been servants and those who would have been served by love; but who have instead become deeply injured and insulted by them who’ve come to be seen as hurtful and insulting. Wow…sure didn’t see it coming. You know, help is only helpful when it’s welcome and wanted. When a helpi...